The Capitalist Hellscape of Theocratic Conservistan is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Overlord God Emperor with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, barren, inhospitable landscape, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 3.728 billion Theocratic Conservistanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Theocratic People's City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Theocratic Conservistanian economy, worth 884 trillion Buckaroos a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 237,278 Buckaroos, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 988,003 per year while the poor average 37,250, a ratio of 26.5 to 1.

College athletes are arrested for selling lemonade, government officials are held to the highest standard of morality, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events, and cities are engulfed by smog. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Theocratic Conservistan's national animal is the Dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Free-Market Secularism.

Theocratic Conservistan is ranked 267,798^th in the world and 54^th in Merciam for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -8.94 on the Clooney Contribution Index.